Say "goodbye" an' dont cry

its ova....
been ova...
fronts up
games ova
throwin in da towle...fo' good
so much...has been so wrong wit my life up until dis point an' mayb i wuz 2 stoned or hi or flaked or drunk 2 care or realize it but rite now...even tho im WUI im as sober as eva...
its really ova now.
2 clear thangs up...4 da past few yrs...round 5 or so, mayb longer...mayb 6, i been doin drugs...but lately shits been goin down hill fo' me. from a divorce, 2 findin out i have 2 kids, an' all da babymomma drama involved wit it, an' not 2 mention skool shit, i colapsed. i cudnt hold up no mo...an' dis is da consiquence.
im leavin. not by choice. but den again...i dont have 1 ne mo'.
im checkin' in2 rehab....
funny how da pace of posts can change so fast...
i want 2 make dis quick an' say my goodbyes asap. i dont kno how long ill b gone but...i wont fo'get me 1. i cud neva. so...herres yall goodbyes...
Bradly: my dog...my bro...go ez on em pledges ayte? ill miss yo' naggin voice. yo' worse dan a wife man. still gonna miss u...keep em niggas outta my room. an' btw...i fo'give u.
B: dont go gettin' in2 no shit while im gone ok? i dont want 2 cum baq an' b a uncle ok? haha...yea. take care of yo'self girl. luv u 2. stay up. keep brad in line. i kno u kno how. stay beautiful. u dont need 2 change fo' ne afro ridden niggas. ur gorgeous, end of story. ill miss yo' loud ass.
K: i think im gonna miss yo' hyperness. da way u always put a smile on my face even wen i was so mad! or how u was always there even wen i aint deserve it. ur a great girl. happy late birthday...im sorry i didnt talk 2 u yesterday. ill miss u 2. dont kill ne 1 in my absence. i luv u. i got u @ heart. ill b thinkin bout u.
An' best fo' last...
Estelle: .....u kno....wen i started writin dis i said i wasnt gonna cry. bullshit. all it took was writin yo' name an' u got me goin' like a lil girl. i heard yo' message 2nite. i got u...im gettin' help. i kno u dont wanna c me 6 ft an' i dont wanna c u like dat eitha. pls take care of yo'self. dont turn in2 me. u cant...u gotta save yo'self at least. u can do it...i believe in u an' tho i kno i dont say it nuff, i am proud of u. uve made it dis far an' i kno u can keep it up. but...u kno..lemme break it down a min......imma miss u most...u my heart girl. u kno dat? yea...u r. tell brad 2 take good care of u...or imma cum get him. im sorry i wont b round. im gonna miss u...so much. so much so much so much. i luv u. always will. pls dont cry fo' me. ill cry nuff fo' da both of us. luv u....it hurts so much 2 kno im gonna b gone fo' so long. mainly cuz i wont b able 2 talk 2 u or make up fo' how i talked 2 u earlier 2day. pls...dont fo'get me wen im gone. dont u go cheatin on me wit no otha blondes. ur gonna b in my heart, my mind, my er'thang till fo'eva.

...if i missed sum1...im sorry. i dont got time. hopefully ill b baq an' ill b ok. ill miss u all...dont no body cry ova my ass or ne thang. if u got sumthang 2 say..leave me a lil comment. ill get baq 2 it as soon as i can. i luv all yall...cept brad. ha. jokin. u no i got dat LO 4 u nicca. ayte...dats it..
its ova
game ova
im gone.

one luv.

-Andrew

Underdose

"I don't put the fuel on it, take a pull on it
we overdosing on weed and sending all y'all off into a thing
kill off all enemies while making G's catch you off on your knees
and snatching fee's now that I'm up in the game
I don't put the fuel on it, take a pull on it
we overdosing on weed and sending all y'all off into a thing
kill off all enemies while making G's catch you off on your knees
niggas rolling me B's just so they can hang."
-Twista: "Overdose"

dats da song of da moment rite derre!! tho id like it betta if it was titled underdoes. is derre such a thang? i think so. eh i feel like im on 1. imma find out if theres sucha thang as a underdoese if not...imma invent it! aha!

eh...i lost my train of thought...
...oh yeah!! i was thinkin' bout how i dont use dis thang herre much as i should/use to. not dat wen i did post it was anythang meaningful. just lil thangs dat caught my attention. eitha way im bout 2 get real, do a real post herre. bout time huh?
so yea ayte, im a lil unfocused rite now. kinda cold. been shiverin all mo'nin. aint reg rite now. im kinda hyper but at da same time i just feel like sleepin' cuz i aint slept since last nite an' just aint myself.
gotta have a talk wit sum1 today. anotha 1. i had dis mo'nin wit my babygirl, she just called to say hi to me. dats always cute. her lil voice talkin' bout "hi daddy" now dat shit kinda focused me out fo' a lil bit. but afta dat i was baq 2 hoppin' round an' tryin'a keep busy.
aint go 2 classes 2day. not wit how i am!! idve been bouncin' of 'em walls an' i'd've gotten kicked out. i wasn't lookin' fo' dat shit today. so yea herre i am. aint got shit 2 do. waitin' on who i need to talk to. i wud b workin' on da work dat i gotta do fo' skool but will ya believe it...i already finished it all. idk if its da fact dat im so unstable rite now or cuz of da acca.probation i got put on but i tore thru dat shit in like 3 hours dis mo'nin.
kno how im feelin'? feel like i took a handful of pep pills an' sleepin' pills at da same time an' dey just kickin' in "ramdon"ly. earlier dis mo'nin roun 5 i ran 3 miles on da machine in da livin'room fo' no reason. den afta dat i was tempted 2 sleep but i cudnt close my eyes! wut kind of shit is dis?! yea an' rite now i'm back 2 wantin' 2 run round. cant tho. if i stand up shit gets dizzy so i dunno wut im gonna do rite now. i played er'game we got in da PS2 so im bored of dat. i dont feel like pluggin in da xbox. so dis is y im herre!
wow dis is longer dan usual fo' me. well shit ive been so "blah" dat i actually picked up a book!!
ooh mayb i shud just keep writin' till my appoitment cumz in. hehe. appointment..idk y but i find dat funny.
shit...i just fo'got i was writin dis. kinda zoned out fo' a lil bit an' i looked baq i'm ova herre thinkin "shit did i write all dis?!" cuz dats a lil too much fo' me! eh wuteva. keeps me busy.
well im sick of dis.
cuttin' it
cyall

Ghetto Love Poem

A Ghetto Love Poem"

Gul I love you,
Straight up Fo'Sho.
Or I wouldna told dem ova girls
not to call me no mo.

I knowed it was true,
the first day I seed you.
Why you thank I do,
the thangs I do?

Remember how I use ta wine and dine you,
Schlits Malt Liquor and Bar-Ba-Que.
I gave you a bubble baze and fed you grapes.
Dey was on sale that week a dolla ninety-eight.

Romanic evenins after dark,
Skreet light walks around the block.

Like the very first time,
you came ova to my crib.
And you got all scared,
cause that roach was on yo Tims.

I was right dare,
with a can of spray.
To be yo Super Negro,
and save the day.

I ain't even pay my light bill,
so I can take you to the club.....
Don't knock ova does candles
and burn up my rug!

And dat nite we made luv,
for a long liddle bit of time.
I hope you got yours,
cause I Sho'nuff got mine.

I woke up early and made you breakfast in bed.
Sep fo I ain't have no juice, no grits, and no eggs.
Didn't have no cereals and was fresh outta milk,
so we had some toast and some potada chips.

I use to rub lotion on yo feets,
and massage yo back.
I found you some glue,
where you lost one of your tracks.

Now what man you knowed,
ever loved you like dis.
Gul please just take my name
off that child support list.

Im glad Im a man because...

I'm glad I'm a Man because:
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real..... Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.
38. You understand why The Three Stooges are funny.
39. You know stuff about tanks.
40. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
41. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
42. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
43. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
44. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
45. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
46. Movie nudity is always female.
47. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
48. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
49. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
50. You can kill your own food.
51. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
52. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
53. You never have to clean a toilet.
54. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
55. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
56. You don't have to shave below your neck.
57. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
58. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
59. You can write your name in the snow.
60. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
61. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
62. Chocolate is just another snack.
63. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)
64. Flowers fix everything.
65. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
66. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
67. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
68. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.
69. Foreplay is optional.
70. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
71. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
72. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
73. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
74. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.
75. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
76. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
77. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too sleezy
78. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
79. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
80. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
81. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
82. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
83. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
84. Bachelor parties kick ass over bridal showers.
85. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
86. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
87. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
88. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
89. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
90. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
91. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
92. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not funny.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
94. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
95. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
96. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.
97. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
98. There's always a game on somewhere.

Pre-Booty Call Agreement

Pre-Booty Call Agreement

This Pre-Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement") is entered into on this ___day of ______________, 20 __, by____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Participant") between ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the "Holder of 'The Agreement'") and ____________________ (Participant).


This Agreement shall cover the following rules and principles for the Participant:

1. No sleeping over!! Unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 pm. We don't have anything to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff, only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions!! i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is "no", so don't even ask.
6. No plans made in advance. That is why you are called "the backup." Unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted- money is always good.
8. No baby talk- however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers... it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other friends with privileges. We are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. Don't be offended, you mean no less to me than you did before.
12. No extra clothing!! I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex!! It's over so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it. I don't care!!
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone of the opposite sex asks who you are, the standard response will be "My roommates girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style preferred. Let me hit it hard and right or get the Hell out! (Reason: The less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you.)
18. We are to hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes me, so stop calling!
19. Bring your own drink-I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please! I don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
21. This agreement is contingent upon receipt of undisputable evidence that the parties are free of all venereal and viral diseases including, but not limited to, AIDS, HIV, Herpes, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, HPV, genital warts, pink eye, rashes, nasty scabs, whooping cough, black plague and scurvy. Participant shall provide updated test results as demanded from time to time.

*Extra tip for successful booty calls: Only the holder of the Agreement may alter the aforementioned rules. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will automatically become null and void. The Participant will then be removed from the "Possible Future Relationship List" and given minimal Booty Call privileges, and cut off from any communications unless first initiated by the holder of this Agreement. If further violations of the Agreement occur the Participant will be deleted from phone memory, email list, and blocked from all communications until the Participant's silly ass understands the rules.

Participant:
Holder of the "Agreement":
Signature: ____________________
Date:_________________________
Signature: ____________________

If after you have sent in all of the necessary paper work....if you have not recieved a call from me......consider your request denied!
Please send in a quick description of yourself, along with a picture , and describing the position in which you are applying for.
If in an emergency situation......message me.

Best Joke Ever

A pickle and a cucumber are having a converstaion. The pickle says to the cucumber: "Man I have it rough, when I get long and hard they stick me in a jar with other pickles so that I can get eaten."
Then cucumber says back: "You think you have it bad? Well when I get long and hard they cut me up and put me in a salad."
A penis walks by and says to them both: "Ha, you two don't have it so bad. When I get long and hard I get stuck in a plastic bag, then stuffed in a black hole, and they force me to do pushups until I throw up."

XD Best...joke...ever!! LMFAO!